The Dagobah Recurrence Introspection
by aliciahub
Summary: Exactly ten years after receiving a very thought provoking piece of advice from his mentor, that he finally chose to follow, Sheldon is asked to assess how his life was impacted and how he feels about it, in retrospect. This story will be a short 4 or 5 chapter one. It will be told through different POVs. I do not own TBBT and any of the characters of course! Shamy story.
1. The Offspring Expectations Formulation

**A/N:**

**_Storyline: _**_Exactly ten years after receiving a very thought provoking piece of advice from his mentor, that he finally chose to follow, Sheldon is asked to assess how his life was impacted and how he feels about it, in retrospect._

_This story will be a short 4 or 5 chapter one. It will be told through different POVs, but not in the first person (I will leave it for my other currently running story, The Voyage Implications). But I'll try to make it easy to follow for you guys._

_In this story, The first 3 or 4 chapters can be seen as an installment of the characters and their current situation, and the last chapter is where the real introspection mentioned in the title takes place. Then there might be an epilogue. The general tone of this story will be a bit dark, though I promise there will be light moments, especially with the children. But I really wanted to explore in depth the Shamy relationship, a decade later, and there are ups and downs in life._

_Once again, English is not my first language nor do I live in the USA, so I apologize in advance for any mistake/inaccuracy. _

_This chapter will be told through 4 different POVs; but it should be easy to tell whose POV it is for each part. If not, let me know and I'll fix it for the next chapters._

* * *

"Drats!" As soon as the words left his mouth, the little boy covered it with both his hands, more out of reflex than anything else; after all, no one could have heard him in the semi-darkness of his bedroom in this wee hour. And technically, "drats" was not even a bad word, Daddy used it sometimes, same as "curses". It was the state of mind behind that word that he knew his Mom would not approve of: he was getting impatient again. And Benjamin did not like doing things that could disappoint his mother. Which was only adding to the frustration he was feeling right now.

And yet today was not a day to get frustrated; today was supposed to be a very special day, a day Benjamin had been looking forward to for a long time. So much that when he had first opened his eyes this morning, wrapped comfortably in his Super Mario Bros bed sheets, the seven year-old boy had immediately felt an indescribable joy and an excitement he had never felt before in his young life. Because today was Star Wars Day. But what made this day so special for Ben was that, this year, for the first time, he would be allowed to celebrate his father's favorite day ever with him; he was so thrilled about it that he had been ready to get up immediately. Then, as he was already half way out of his bed, he had checked the time on his Buzz Light-year Lego alarm clock, and his good mood had vanished straight away; it was only 5.34am. Definitely too early to get up on a Saturday. More than two hours too early. Drats indeed!

How was he going to hold on for such a long time? Mommy was right, patience was not his main asset; but he was working on it. The little boy lay back down slowly and placed the covers back over himself. He sighed loudly, bit his lower lip then raised his eyes towards the stars on the ceiling.

As far as he could remember, Benjamin had always been interested in the stars, the constellations, and more generally in the Universe and what it was made of; from a young age, he had spent many an hour listening to his father talk about it in length and it never ceased fascinating him. So, as a present for his fourth birthday, Daddy, helped by Uncle Raj who is an astrophysicist, had decorated the ceiling of Benjamin's bedroom with some tiny glow-in-the dark stars. But what made it ultra-special was that the night sky depicted up there was based on the sky as it could be seen in Pasadena on the night Benjamin was born, on April 23rd 2017. Only the main constellations of course, and some of Benjamin's favorite stars. The ceiling had a soothing effect on Benjamin and whenever he needed to empty his mind, the little boy would simply look up there and start counting and naming each stars. But today, epic failure; as expected, he was done in only a few minutes and needless to say, it had not appeased him at all.

Definitely upset now, Ben pushed the covers down with his feet, groaning. Then he lay there for a couple more minutes, eyes closed. Rapidly, his mind went back to today and what it really meant for him: this year - partly because May 4th fell on a Saturday and there was no school and partly because both his parents thought he was old enough - Benjamin would spend the day with Daddy, at home, watching the Star Wars movies for the first time. Well, to be more accurate, the whole family would be at home today, but at four and a half, Lily had never seen a full movie before, not even a Disney animated film, so she probably would not stay with them for long, and Mommy did not care much for Science Fiction. So it would very likely end up being just the men of the house celebrating the day together.

Benjamin loved spending time with his Daddy; they played Lego together, they played the piano together, and not long ago, they had started reading comic books together. But Benjamin was pretty sure today was going to be even better than anything they had ever done together: today, they would watch what Daddy calls a marathon: three movies in a row. Daddy had explained to him that technically a Star Wars marathon should mean watching all nine Star Wars movies in a row on the same day. But because it would be too much for a first time, father and son would just start with what Daddy called "the initial three episodes, not the real first trilogy chronologically". Ben did not know what it meant exactly; all he knew was that Daddy had said he did not want him to begin "one of the most important experiences of his life" with "the worst episode of them all". Daddy did not want to explain more; he said not knowing was part of the fun. Benjamin really didn't understand how not knowing something could be fun, but he knew he could trust Daddy because he was always right.

Though, parts of him could not help but feel anxious about it; despite the thrill, there was always the possibility that nothing would occur as it was supposed to. It had been a tradition for years for Daddy and his friends to watch the movies from their favorite franchise together. What if this year, Daddy regretted not being with Uncle Leonard, Uncle Raj and Uncle Howard? What if he found Ben's company tedious? And even worse, what if Ben did not like the movies as much as Daddy did? Would Daddy be very disappointed with Ben if that happened? Up to now, Benjamin had been so confident that he would love it; he usually likes most of the things Daddy likes. But what if Star Wars was different? After all, Ben also shared some interests with his mother, and she did not like Star Wars. In that case, should he tell Dad how he was feeling or should he just pretend liking the movies?

Once again, so many questions in his head, so much noise, so much fear of disappointing his parents. Benjamin loved his parents so much, and he loved so much when they were proud of him. Like when he first played the 'square and cubic roots' game with Daddy when he was four and Daddy could not help talking about it to everyone or when Ben played his first piano recital and Mommy cried – tears of joy she told him.

Another quick look at his clock and another disappointment. 5.51 am. "Come on, has time stopped or what?" he said out loud. More a rhetorical question than anything as Benjamin was very much aware of how the brain worked and that under specific circumstances, the perception of time could be different; his mother had explained to him on many occasions that when you are excited, your limbic system releases a hormone that makes you believe that time goes faster. And inversely, when you are being impatient, there is no release of hormones, hence that feeling that time goes slowly. The brain is very fascinating most of the time; but today it is just frustrating.

Benjamin was aware that one way to control his limbic system was to keep it busy with another task. For some time now, Benjamin had been trying to keep control of his emotions as much as possible, because he wanted to be able to focus on important things without being overwhelmed by his feeling. He had confided in his father a few weeks ago about his will to control himself more efficiently, and Daddy had taught him a few tricks for when there are too many thoughts in his head and he did not know how to organize it. Out of his Daddy's tricks, Benjamin's favorite activity was reciting Pi's decimals. And it usually worked quite well, as he found Pi to be a very fascinating number. He had memorized 1232 decimals already thanks to the eidetic memory he had inherited from his father.

"Okay, Benny, let's start: 3.141 592 653 589 793…" he started reciting as slow as possible.

Twenty minutes later, Benny finally gave up and got off bed. Silently, he made his way towards his baby sister's bedroom.

* * *

She could almost feel the sun on her skin, and the wind in her hair. She had her head on Mommy's lap and she was playing with Daddy, the two of them laughing loudly; they loved looking at the sky together, trying to tell stories based on the shape of the clouds they saw up there. Daddy had spotted a monkey which Lily could make out as well, and he was telling a story about Mommy and a smoking monkey named Ricky. Over her head, Mommy was placing some rice salad on everyone's plate, smiling widely, and sitting next to her, Benjamin was reading yet another book about the Universe. Lily loved spending time with her three favorite people in the World, it made her so happy when they would spend the day at the zoo, like today. It had been a long time, since they went there and Lily had missed it.

Then as she was relishing these happy moments, she heard her name being called from far away. At first, she tried to ignore it; she was enjoying herself too much. Then she heard it again, clearer this time and it sounded like Benny.

"Lily! Wake up…" she heard, louder. It was definitely her older brother's voice. And she felt hands over her body, shaking her a little now. She opened her eyes and was disappointed as she realized it had just been a dream. No zoo and no picnic. She was in her bedroom with Benny bent over her.

She stirred a little, holding tightly in one arm her beloved Joey, the stuffed koala that never left her side during her sleep, while she rubbed both her eyes with her tiny fists.

"Benny, what do you want?" she asked sleepily. Her eyes were wide open now and she could make out her brother's figure standing next to her, thanks to the weak light coming from the ajar door.

"Come on, Lily, you know what day it is. Let's go wake Mommy and Daddy up. Come on, pleaaaaase!"

Lily sat up straight on her bed and started wondering what her brother meant. It had to be important if he begged her; it was so unlike him. Then she remembered and smiled widely. She too had been looking forward to today: a whole day at home with Mommy, Daddy and Benny; it would be almost as good as her dream!

Especially as Mommy had promised her that the two of them would bake a special cake for Daddy and Benny this morning; she said it would look like the Lego set that Benny got for his birthday. Lily loved cooking. Usually, that was some activity she shared with Daddy or Grandma Rose, but on occasions she would do it with Mommy as well. And today, Mommy promised that she could do a few things on her own, and the little girl was thrilled about it. Because at four and a half, she was usually too young to do anything on her own. But Lily knew she could do more, Mommy would see that, and she'd be proud of her. And so would Daddy.

She finally snapped out of it when Benjamin added "Come on, let's go now!" lifting her covers to encourage her to get up immediately. She let go of Joey, swung her tiny legs out of bed and once up, she shyly reached for her brother's hand. Despite a loud sigh, he took it and squeezed it a little. It was like a victory for Lily, Benny did not enjoy touching people, even her, his little sister. But this morning, he let her hold his hand as they walked to the hallway and towards the masters' bedroom.

Ben opened their parents' bedroom door very carefully then let his sister in first. The room was partially dark, but for the few rays of light shining through the window. Their parents were there, in the middle of their bed, spooned together under the sheets; the children could even hear their father snoring lightly.

Lily was hesitant at first; what if Mommy and Daddy were mad at them for waking them up so early and decided to cancel the whole day as a punishment? As quickly as she thought about it, she wiped it away from her mind; that was definitely not the way her parents did things. They never took their word back once they promised something. At the worst, they would give both of them a strike.

Benjamin nudged her lightly, so she moved towards her mother's side of the bed. She tried to climb on it on her own but after two failed attempts, Ben held her arm to help her get on the mattress. The four and a half year old girl crawled slowly towards her mother and kissed her tenderly on the cheek. Then she sneaked into her arms, placing her head on her chest. "Good morning Mommy!" she simply said, making herself comfortable by sliding under the covers. Lily loved lying in her parents' bed. They did not allow her there very often anymore, only during thunderstorms or when she was having bad dreams. Sometimes also, when the boys played video games or built their Lego thingy after dinner, Mommy let her to come to bed next to her and she would read stories to her, about princesses, knights and kings in faraway lands or about animals in the wild – those were Lily's favorite. She usually fell asleep before the end of the story and woke up the next morning in her own bed. She did not care; she loved falling asleep in her mother's arms, she felt so safe there.

* * *

Amy began stirring slowly; she opened her eyes and as she met Lily's beautiful green marbles, she smiled widely. Her little angel had somehow made her way to her bed and was now huddled next to her, very comfortably settled. "Good morning baby!" Amy said while kissing her daughter's forehead, caressing her light brown hair "What are you doing here honey? It's very early, you know?" she asked, checking the clock on the wall in front of her.

Benjamin got closer to the bed and finally spoke "Hi Mommy. I'm sorry, I know it is early, but I could not wait any longer, you know what day it is! We have to get ready for the marathon!" He sat down next to his mother and bent to kiss her on the cheek.

"Good morning Benjamin. I should have guessed you were the one behind that early visit." The little boy lowered his eyes, but Amy was not mad at him. He looked so much like his father; actually he did look like his father in more ways than one. First, physically, it was more than obvious: same eyes, same hair color, same facial features, and same charming smile. Just after Benjamin was born, Meemaw had given Amy a photo album filled with pictures of Sheldon at every age. And the way the two of them had looked alike from day one was striking.

Also, her first born had inherited his father's brain and all that goes with it; Amy was sometimes worried for her little boy because she knew too well that being that smart could be difficult to live with, but he was healthy and looked happy most of the time, which was truly the most important for both his parents. As long as she kept attentive to any sign that would tell her that the little boy was indeed in pain at some point, she knew they would be fine. And Benjamin was such a nice boy, always trying to please her; she could forgive him for waking them up early today, she knew what a special day it was for both her boys.

"Come on baby, come here" she said, opening her arms to hug him. Then she looked over her shoulder; Sheldon had moved and rolled on his other side. He was curled in a fetal position, with the covers just below his chin, which seemed to indicate that he had no plan of waking up anytime soon.

It was no secret that Sheldon needed his eight to ten hours sleep every night. And they had gone to bed quite late on the previous evening as she was busy completing something for her special cake. Then once there, they had stayed awake a bit longer, in each other's arms, simply talking. So it was no big surprise that he was struggling this morning. Amy felt a little bad about it because she knew it was her fault; she had felt a bit down lately and Sheldon had been very supportive, listening to her, comforting her; he was truly the perfect husband. She considered letting him sleep for a bit longer while she would go and take care of the children. But she was aware that her husband had been very excited about today and that he would not want to miss one minute of it, tired or not."You should go and wake your father up softly, honey; but that won't be easy, he is in a very sleepy mood this morning I'm afraid." She said, winking at her son, who looked relieved that she was not reprimanding him; he smiled, kissed her cheek once more and whispered "I love you Mommy!" next to her ear. Then he got off the bed and moved to the other side in one swift move. Amy could never get enough of these four little words spoken by her children; it made her melt inside each time.

She shook her head, fighting against tears – she had been very sensitive lately and knew she had to stay strong, for her children -, and then turned her full attention back to her daughter. "My baby" one kiss on the cheek "did you sleep well?"

"Oh yes, I did. I dreamt of you, and me, and Daddy, and Benny; we were having a picnic at the zoo together, and we were playing the clouds game. We were having so much fun!" Amy smiled. Her little girl's imagination was limitless; pareidolia in particular – the interpretation by the brain of certain stimuli, such as clouds or rocks as objects, animals or faces – was natural to her; as a neuroscientist, Amy knew that every child should be encouraged to develop their artistic skills from a young age; Lily was doing it naturally and Amy loved it.

The little girl moved closer to her mother's ear and whispered, with her hand over her mouth as if she was about to reveal the biggest secret of all "Mommy, you remember, we have a surprise to prepare today!"

"Yes darling." Amy said, placing her head against her daughter's and kissing her once more on the cheek, breathing in her smell; she loved how her children smelled, she often hoped she could just bottle it up and keep it somewhere safe to remember these tender moments in years from now. Mary often told her to make the best of these years when the children were still young and innocent and their parents meant the World to them, because it wouldn't last. Amy secretly hoped that her mother in law was wrong about it and that it would last forever: being the only woman in her son's life and her daughter's role model was such a wonderful feeling. Of course, she knew better than that; she was aware that her children would have to grow up eventually and that they would leave the nest to live a life of their own. But not just now, she still had years to get ready for that. Now was the time to enjoy every little moment and to create memories. Happy memories with the four of them together. A few weeks ago, Amy's mother had died in a car accident, and it had made her realize how precious all these insignificant yet meaningful moments were; she was determined to enjoy the present and forget about what may happen. At least for today.

Amy looked at her son as he was trying to figure out how to wake his father up as smoothly as possible. He was old enough to know that a grumpy Sheldon was not what he wanted to experience today.

"Daddy…" He whispered next to his ear. No reaction. "Daddy…" he added while taking his hand in his own.

"Hmmmm" was Sheldon's only reply. Benjamin looked at him, skeptical. Then he looked at his mother, begging with his eyes for any help she could provide.

Message received; she was going to use her secret weapon "Honey, go help your brother!" she whispered to her daughter's ear before kissing her forehead and nudging her a little. The little girl did not need much convincing to go stand next to her brother. She then used the same method she had used with her mother and lay down next to Sheldon. She kissed him on the cheek and placed her head in front of her father's, her forehead pressed against his and her tiny hand on his cheek, caressing it softly. Sheldon finally opened his eyes without moving.

"Hey Daddy!" the little girl said, chuckling a little.

"Hey Kitten!" Sheldon replied, in a very sleepy voice, quite husky.

Amy observed it from her side of the bed, now sitting against the headboard. Lily really was her Daddy's little girl; no matter how tough Sheldon pretended to be, the moment he was around his daughter, there was no way for him to deny it : that 42 pounds and 40 inches little woman had him wrapped around her little finger.

Benjamin was still standing next to the bed. "Good morning Daddy!"

"Good morning Benjamin!" Sheldon replied, looking at his son.

"Are you ready to get up Daddy? We have a long day ahead!" His face betrayed his growing frustration. Amy wished her son could just relax more sometimes. So many things seem to pass through that little head of his all the time. And when he obsessed over something, he kept his mind on it, just like his father. Actually, Amy thought, like his father when she had met him; now Sheldon was a bit better with it. Having children had helped a lot, as well as all these years they had lived ups and downs together. Amy hoped she could help her first born somehow; but all she could do for the time being was making him feel loved, and be sure he knew she would be there for him, always, with the hope that eventually, things would get easier for him.

As her eyes moved back to her daughter nestled in her father's arms, Amy smiled. She was not the least worried for her daughter; against all odds, hers and Sheldon Cooper's daughter had obviously inherited some social skills. Amy believed it might be because Lily had been spending lots of time with her godmother Penny and both her children Chloe and Noah. Or maybe she was just not giving herself enough credit; after all, ever since she had met Sheldon, she had developed some unexpected social skills. Enough to become a very respected Alzheimer expert, the wife of a very high profile theoretical physicist and most of all the mother of two amazing children.

* * *

After a moment, Sheldon sat straight in bed, grabbed his daughter and sat her on his lap. Then he turned his head towards his wife "Good morning you!" he said, placing his arm in a way that could only mean that he wanted her to come closer and snuggle up to him. She complied, kissing him on the lips first then placing her head against his shoulder. Sheldon looked at both his children again.

"Alright, now that everyone is awake: Why on Earth are you up so early, young man and young lady? And more importantly, why did you feel the need to come here and wake us up?" Sheldon asked, frowning, using his 'strict father's voice'. If during the week, everyone in the household was up around 6.30am, there was a rule at weekends and no one was supposed to be up before 8am. Sheldon had established that rule a few weeks ago, for Amy; it was getting increasingly difficult for her to deal with the tiredness due to all the hours spent at work and the demands of the children, while she was still having a hard time mourning her mother. After many arguments, she had finally agreed to the 8am rule, reluctantly though. And they had stuck to it till now.

"It's Benny's fault! But he could not help it Daddy, he is too excited about today!" Lily replied genuinely, kneeling on the bed between her parents.

Sheldon then looked at his son standing there and patted the bed next to him, over the covers, so Ben would sit by his side. He could feel the little boy was tensed for some reason. He could always tell when his son was upset, there were obvious signs. "Come here buddy!" he said in a sweeter tone.

Benjamin did as requested. Then after a few seconds "Daddy, so can we get up now?"

"Benjamin Leonard Cooper, what did we tell you about trying to be more patient?" Sheldon gently addressed his son. Then he looked at his phone. "It is not even 6.30am, Ben! You know the rule."

"I know, Daddy, I really tried. I stayed in bed and named all the stars and then I recited Pi to 1111 places before getting up, I promise I did." The little boy lifted his head and looked at his father straight in the eyes "Come on Daddy, you know why I cannot sleep any longer, today is Star Wars day!" The little boy sounded extremely enthusiastic now.

Sheldon grinned, he could not be mad at his son, not today. "Of course I know what day it is, Ben. But it is not a reason to get up that early; the marathon only begins at 12pm, I told you that."

The little boy nodded "I know." Then he looked back at his father "But we have to have breakfast, to shower, to go to the store to buy our clothes for today, then we have to get dressed, to prepare the dvds, to prepare the food for the marathon, etc… it takes time, Daddy! We can't just start the marathon without being completely ready!"

That remark made both Amy and Sheldon smile. "Even if he did not look like you so much, there'd be no way to deny that '**you are his father, Sheldon !**'" Amy said the last part of the sentence in a husky voice, trying to sound like Darth Vader. "Like father like son!" she winked at him, smirking and caressing his cheek.

Not leaving Amy's eyes, Sheldon leant down and kissed her tenderly on the lips. Gosh, how he loved her wit. And that lovely smile. "Happy Star Wars day Sheldon! I hope you enjoy it." She said. "Now come on, let's go, the children are waiting. And I know you too are very excited about it, Daddy!"

He stopped her from getting up "No Amy, you stay here and rest a little longer, I'll take care of the children for now. You little lady stay in bed until 8am, the rule still applies to you today."

"Come on Shel…" She started, trying to get up, but stopped by Sheldon.

"No, really Amy. I'll take care of them. You stay here, try to go back to sleep." He kissed her once more then he placed his hand on his son's hair and patted it tenderly "Come on, my young padawan learners, let's go get ready for the first ever Cooper family Star Wars day!"

_A/N:_ _I hope you like this story. Feel free to review, I love reading what people think about my stories, it helps me deal with my insecurities a little better. Chapter 2 will be uploaded very soon._


	2. The Parental Transmission Convergence

_A/N: Thanks for the lovely reviews about Chapter 1. I am glad you like this story so answer a question that has been asked by a guest: there will be more characters involved later in the story; the parents' friend, but mostly in flashback stories, and a very important character already seen on the show that may come back here (the title of the story should give it up though).  
_

_Here is Chapter 2, like I said in Introduction, a little darker, but it is for more development for the characters, and explain where they are now emotionally speaking._

* * *

As soon as Sheldon and the children had left the room, Amy had gone back to sleep. It was unlike her; she was always so full of energy, waking up early every day and taking care of her family with enthusiasm. But ever since 'it' had occurred, Amy had changed. It had been gradual but she was slowly becoming a stranger to herself and it scared her. She knew she had to react. She was determined to.

'It', the event that had triggered it all, had occurred exactly six weeks ago, on March 23rd. It was a sunny Saturday and Amy, Sheldon and the children were having a picnic at the zoo. After lunch, the phone rang and suddenly her life had changed. Sheldon was the one who answered the phone call and heard the news first, as Amy was busy cleaning Lily's hands. As she saw her husband's face and overheard his stern "We are coming. Thank you." she knew instantly something terrible had occurred.

She grabbed his hand and brought him further from the children "Sheldon, who was it? What is going on?"

He paused then looked at her straight in the eye, squeezing her hand a little "Amy, we have to go now; it was the hospital: your mother was in a car accident. They could not tell me more over the phone, but they said we should get there as soon as possible."

She looked at him wide eyed for what could have been two hours or more probably a few seconds before hearing "Mommy, what happened to Grandma?" Lily was standing there, her eyes full of tears already, Benjamin next to her, obviously equally shaken.

"I… I don't know Baby, I… let's go please." She said, grabbing her daughter's hand firmly, followed by the two stunned boys. After a quick phone call, they left both children at Penny and Leonard's where they knew they would be taken good care of then they rushed to the hospital.

For over four hours, the couple had stayed in the waiting room, as Amy's mother was on the operating table with both a head injury and four broken ribs; her life prognosis was in the balance a doctor had told them. All that Amy remembered from these moments was her own heart pounding loudly and Sheldon's fingers firmly wrapped around hers.

The next ten days were filled with angst and expectation as Rose Fowler was in a coma. During that period, Amy took a leave of absence from work, spending most of her time at the hospital, by her mother's side, reading to her or talking to her about the children. Ben and Lily came to visit a couple of times and were encouraged to talk to their grandmother. When they were around, Amy tried her best to stay strong, but when she was by herself in her mother's room and no one could see her, she would allow herself to cry. She went home only to change, sleep and spend some time with the children, never hiding them anything about their grandmother's condition. Ben had been shocked by the whole situation and kept silent on the matter, while Lily asked lots of questions that were not easy to answer to. After a few days, Mary Cooper came to Pasadena and was more than helpful with the children, and Sheldon, which was a great relief for Amy.

And then after these ten days, it was over; Rose died of a heart attack.

Over the years, Amy's relationship with her mother had always been chaotic; after Amy's father's death, Rose had been ultra protective towards that daughter whom she never really understood. Amy was a special kid, with an extraordinary intelligence and very few social skills, and she could understand now how disconcerting it could have been for a mother. As she herself became a mother, Amy realized that her mother had only done whatever she thought was best for her. Ben's birth brought them closer and there began a new phase in their relationship: a more equal and trusting one. After six months being at home with the baby, Amy and Sheldon were considering their options for childcare, when Rose had offered to mind Benjamin for them. And later the agreement went on for Lily.

Hence her mother's death, in addition to the extreme sadness it stirred within each member of the family, had led to a reorganization of the household. And as much as Amy was hurting, she could not afford falling apart; she was first and foremost a mother and her children's lives were extremely impacted as it was, they should not have to witness their mother's sadness. With Mary's help and Sheldon's support, Amy tried her best to have her children talk about their loss and confide how they felt. In retrospect, Amy realized that she had not been the easiest to live with during the first few weeks, but Sheldon had always been there for her, which she truly appreciated, without knowing how to express it to him.

After two weeks, Amy knew life had to go on, no matter what had happened. Mary got back home and the solution chosen for the children was the childcare facilities at Caltech. After school, Ben would go there to spend the rest of the afternoon with his sister, and by 5 or 6pm, either one of their parent would take them home and spend the rest of the evening with them, while the other would stay late at work; both Sheldon and she were at important moments in their careers and they could not work halftime. Plus launching herself into work was Amy's solution to avoid facing the pain she was feeling.

So if the past six weeks had been difficult for the children, they were getting used to the new arrangements and seemed happy again; life was going on. Of course they kept talking about their late grandmother a lot, and it was painful to Amy, but she let them; it was their way to mourn her, and a safe way to do it, she knew that.

Right now was the most difficult period for Amy; reassured that her children were safe and feeling better, she lowered her guard; the exhaustion accumulated for these past weeks wore her out and Amy could feel herself slowly sliding into depression; she was trying to hide it to everyone, but she knew that her husband was aware of it and that he was worried.

Of course, Amy missed her mother, her presence, their discussions, but the real reason behind her melancholy was that Rose had been her last living parent, the last link with the past; Amy could not help feeling rootless now. And no matter how much support she was getting from her husband or her friends Bernadette and Penny, she was struggling. And she had no idea how to reverse the trend. Maybe only time would help. And the patience of her loving husband.

After some good rest, Amy checked the clock: 8.10am. She made her way to the kitchen to get ready for a precious day with her family.

* * *

"Daddy, I've had enough. Can I watch TV now?"

"No no no young lady, I want you first to clean your hands, then go to your room and choose your clothes for today, come back here and show me what you chose, go to the bathroom when your mother is done, and then only you can watch TV. Understood?"

"Yes Daddy." The little girl replied, getting up from her chair. Sheldon held her so she could reach the sink to clean her hands, then put her back down on the floor.

"Want some more Vader pancakes Ben?" Sheldon asked as he sat back next to his son.

"Sure Dad, they're excellent! It is like the shape makes them even better!"

"Technically improbable son but I understand what you mean: I too prefer these pancakes to the regular ones." Sheldon grabbed one "Yummy!" Ben nodded, mimicked his father's gestures and smiled. Sheldon was getting more and more comfortable taking care of the children. Just a few months ago, Amy was the only one taking care of the children for breakfast, or just any other meal. Although Sheldon had always spent much time with his children, it was mostly leisure time. Occasionally, he had helped with meals, but Amy was always around, telling him what to do. Now, as he wanted to be a relief to Amy in this difficult period, he was surprisingly enjoying very much these moments with his children. And he was a natural at it he believed.

Suddenly, he heard the door of the bathroom open and the muffled sound of two feminine voices talking down the hallway.

Sheldon was glad that Amy had conceded to stay in bed a little longer this morning. He had been very worried for her these past few weeks, and had felt totally powerless to help his wife at first. His mother had been a great help to him during the first weeks, advising him to be patient with her and to always make her feel that he was there for her. For weeks, he had feared he was losing her as she would not talk to him and push him back each time he tried to touch her. It had felt odd, because ever since their relationship had become an intimate one, touching each other had never been a problem for either of us.

So last week, with Penny's help, Sheldon had decided to step up and make sure that Amy knew he was there for her; first, he had asked Penny to take the children at her home for the night. Then he took a day off from work and used it to cook dinner for Amy, all her favorite dishes. Finally, as they were having dessert and as she was relaxing a little, he started talking about the times when, as he child, he had lost his grandfather then her father, and then later his Meemaw, and told her he was there if she needed to talk to someone, that he could try to understand her, and could also help her with the children more if she needed; he wanted her to know that she could rely on him. She had said nothing then, but she had hugged him and cried in his arms. Since then, every evening,they had fallen asleep in each other's arms with Amy talking about her day, her researches and sometimes about her feelings about her pain. She was also accepting his displays of affection and began engaging in it again. And she let him take care of the children. He was glad; he had the feeling they were getting past it. Together.

He snapped out of it when he heard her voice "Sheldon honey, should Lily have her shower now, or do you and Ben want to go first? I know the two of you want to go to the store, so maybe it is best for you to go now…"

"I believe you are right Amy." Then to Ben "Benjamin, are you done with your breakfast?" the little boy nodded "then go get ready for shower, and I'll go after you. Hurry up; we would not want to be late at the shop."

"I doubt you would anyway, it is not even 9am. You are more likely to get there before it is even open" Amy said, smiling, as she walked towards the living room holding Lily's hand.

"Amy, the Disney Store opens at 9am, and it is best to go there before it is crowded!" then to Ben "Go now buddy." Sheldon nudged Benny towards the hallway. "What are you girls going to do when we are away?"

Lily stepped in, winking at her mother, smirking "That's a surprise Daddy, we can't tell you."

"Oh, a surprise? Color me intrigued! What kind of surprise would that be?" Sheldon asked, looking from Lily to Amy. "Does it have something to do with what you were doing last evening, and that I was not allowed to see either?"

"Maybe. Anyways, that's the kind of surprise that needs you both boys out of the house for at least 2 hours. Could you do that?" Amy asked with a smile. She still looked tired but not as much as she had lately.

"Well, I guess Ben and I could go to the Comic Book store on our way back from the Disney Store. And maybe also to the Lego store… and then if it is still too early to the train store in Glendale but that's just for you, so you have time for the surprise, you know!" Sheldon teased.

"Yes I'm sure of it. What a sacrifice!" Amy got closer to her husband and kissed him on the lips. "Thank you." Amy pulled away then grabbed her daughter's hand, leading her to the living room. Sheldon stood there for a moment, still feeling his wife's lips on his. He smiled then started washing the dishes. She was back. His Amy was back.

* * *

"Alright Benjamin, what did you have in mind? Do you want to wear a Star Wars graphic tee shirt, in that case it is just here on the left or would you rather choose a costume from the movie, which would be in the aisle over there?" Sheldon asked as they had just arrived at the Disney Store.

The little boy took a minute to consider his options. "I think I would like to see the costumes first. If none appeal to me, I will come back here and see what the graphic tees look like."

"Smart move, Ben, let's go then." Sheldon said smiling. That was exactly how he would have proceeded in Ben's place; he was so proud of his son, he was always meticulous about everything.

Once they got there, the little boy stopped by the end aisle display "Wow Daddy, look at these robots suits!" Ben stood there, grabbing the first item of the rack and lifting it to give it a better look.

"These are not robots suits, Ben, these are the Storm troopers suits. But you're right, they're neat!"

"Storm Troopers." He repeated. "Are they the nice guys or the bad guys, Dad?"

"Well, technically, they are the bad guys, the soldiers of the Empire, but both Luke and Han wore one of those at some point in Episode IV." Sheldon replied, grabbing one of the helmets.

But Ben's eyes were already on something else "Oh here is a robot costume! Very shiny."

"Yes, that's C3PO. I have one of those at home myself. The last time I wore it was for Halloween, long before you were born. My first Halloween party with your mother." That was the first time he and Amy had worn a couples costume, but the last time he had been allowed to dress as a Star Wars character. For some reason, Amy did not care much for it; since then, they had been Popeye and Olive Oyl, Robin Hood and Lady Marian (as a compromise after he came back from his train trip), Shrek and Fiona, Spock and Uhura (that was on the year they got married), The Incredibles family (when Ben was a baby, he had looked adorable in his little red suit), Cesar and Cleopatra, The Flintstones (when Amy was 6 months pregnant with Lily), Homer and Marge Simpson (with Ben as Bart and Lily as Baby Maggie), Romeo and Juliet (his least favorite costume ever but Amy had loved it and he was weak), the Eleventh Doctor and River Song in her astronaut suit (his all time favorite) and Mario and Princess Peach.

Benjamin thought for a second then kept walking towards the rest of the costumes "Alright, what about that one? It looks weird! A bit like white pajamas but I think the belt is awesome."

"Oh these are the Jedi knights' clothes. All the Jedis in the trilogy wear it."

"I think I would like to try it on."

As Ben was trying to find his size, Sheldon walked towards the adults rack and stood there. "I think I'll take one as well, so we can dress the same. That way I can be the Jedi Master and you'll be my young Padawan!"Sheldon said, beaming. "What do you think of that?"

"Yay! Approved Captain!"

As he had found his size, Sheldon went back next to his son "Benjamin, maybe we should also take one for your little sister. What do you think?"

Benjamin stopped and looked at his father, frowning. "Oh."

"I am scared she might get jealous if we are both dressed as Jedi knights and she isn't. And there is no reason why she can't have one of these as well."

Benjamin sighed but added "All right, let's take one for her as well." He grabbed a child size 5 costume. "What about Mommy? Won't she be jealous as well?"

"Oh believe me son, your Mommy will never dress in a Star Wars costume, especially if it is not Halloween; she isn't the free spirit we are!"

* * *

"Lily, honey, sit down and stop playing with the flour, we need it for the cake. Now, look at me; after I'm done, it will be your turn to do it by yourself. So pay attention."

Amy started by breaking an egg, holding each piece of the shell in one hand and separating the yolk from the white. Then carefully, she poured the yolk on top of the flour and the white in a mixing bowl. "Come on baby, your turn now. And pay attention to the shell, we don't want pieces in either mixture."

The little girl sat straighter on the stool and grabbed one egg with her two tiny hands. Biting her lower lip for more concentration, she mimicked her mother's actions, cracking the shell carefully against one bowl then pouring the yolk and the white in the respective bowls.

"Yay Lily, well done!" Amy said cheerfully as the little girl clapped in her flour covered hands, and looked at her mother, proud to have done things right. She repeated her actions four more times "Now let's beat the white lightly" Amy grabbed the mixer, letting Lily push the button. When she was satisfied with the result "Alright now you'll pour it in the round bowl, and you can add the flour and yolk, the cocoa and some vanilla. Oh and some butter. Please pass the butter, honey" Lily was very careful to do everything as her mother had instructed; Amy was glad to see her daughter so focused; at four and a half, it was not that easy to do. "That's great, baby. Now I will put it in the round mold and place it in the oven while I slice the fondant. I will use it to decorate the cake."Amy did so then moved to the fridge to grab a plate full of some light grey fondant that she had prepared the previous evening.

"Wow Mommy, that's beautiful!"

"Thanks Baby. Alright, now I'm afraid you can't help me anymore, I don't want you to cut yourself. Do you want to go watch something on TV?"

The little girl frowned "No Mommy, can't I just stay here and watch you do it? Maybe help a little with something not dangerous. Please! I won't do anything wrong, promised!"

Amy smiled. She really liked having her daughter around "Alright. I could use some help, I guess." She got up and took another plate from the cupboard which she placed in front of her daughter, next to a picture of a Death Star printed from the internet."When I am done with the little pieces, I want you to place them on this plate. But please be careful. Look, here is what it should look like once on the round cake, try to follow the pattern, honey." Then Amy grabbed her utility knife and started the meticulous craft.

About an hour later, both girls had made lots of progress, while chatting about Lily's week at the kindergarten; more precisely what she had not told her mother yet. Twice a week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Amy finished work earlier to go home with the kids, and so did Sheldon on Mondays and Fridays - on Wednesdays, Penny took care of all four kids until Amy went to collect them around 7pm. So as the previous day was Sheldon's day with the children, Amy had not heard of the latest developments in her daughter's life.

Lily, just like her brother, was a very smart child, always eager to learn more about everything. At the same age, Benny was also quite curious about life and how things worked, but he tried to find answers by reading books rather than by asking questions; he was a quiet child. Lily was more of a talker and Amy loved these discussions with her daughter. Talking to Lily was always a breath of fresh air for Amy; during the week, she was involved in very advanced research work and she had to deal with difficult Alzheimer cases; so chatting with her little girl was always more than welcome and allowed her to cut herself from work as soon as she got home. The little girl had always hundreds of stories about what games she and her best friends played and what stories Kelly, the lady in charge, had read to them. Amy was aware that she had not been as available to her children as she should have lately, so she relished in today's opportunity to spend time with her daughter.

Amy had enjoyed every stage in her children's development. When they were babies, she had loved being the most important person in their lives: breastfeeding them had surprisingly been an amazing experience for her as a mother. Of course as a neurobiologist, she had always been aware of the transmissions of signals between the baby and the mother during breastfeeding, but she had truly appreciated these bonding moments with her babies. Parts of her had felt guilty at first that only she could live that, and that Sheldon as the father was a bit left aside, but he always asked her to describe how it felt and how everything worked from a neuroscientist point of view. He really seemed fascinated by what she told him; it was as if they were experiencing it together, even though technically she was the one holding and feeding the baby. Later thankfully he got his fair share of milk bottles to prepare and give.

Then every progress made by their children had been a wonderful moment for the two of them: the first smile, the first time they could sit, the first time they could hold a spoon alone, the first time they walked, either on all fours or on two legs. And accompanying them for each new step had been amazing and very fulfilling. And in no time, they had become little humans, more independent every day.

Suddenly, as Lily was singing the new song she had learnt the day before, they heard the key in the main door lock "Hey girls, it's been two hours exactly; are we allowed in?" Sheldon asked, not fully inside the house. Benjamin walked past him, with his hand over his eyes and carrying a bag "Not looking, I'm just going to my room."

"Nooooo! Daddy, stay where you are!" Lily yelled, looking alarmed, then she turned to her mother. "Mommy he can't see it, it is not finished yet!"

Amy got up and quickly placed a tea towel over the plate "Sheldon, you can come in, just don't come anywhere near the kitchen table."

Sheldon was intrigued now. He stood still "Oh. What is it?" He asked as he got inside and placed his windbreaker on a chair.

"That is a surprise Daddy, we can't tell you!" Lily said as her mother held her from the stool to place her back on the floor. She moved towards her father and lifted her arms so he would grab her and hold her in his arms. He kissed her cheek before moving to the couch and sitting there with her on his lap. After washing her hands, Amy sat on the chair in front of them. She could not help smiling; they always looked so cute together.

Then they heard Benjamin's voice calling for his father from the hallway "Daddy, can you come please?"

"Yes Buddy, I'm coming." He turned to Lily and whispered something in her ear, which made her get up instantly with the widest smile ever on her face. As she grabbed his hand and led him towards the hallway, Sheldon smiled at Amy. "If I were you, I'd have my camera ready for when we come back" he said, winking.

Following his advice, Amy got up and ran quickly towards the kitchen to get her iphone. While she was there, she grabbed the plates that were still sitting on the kitchen island and placed them in the fridge. And after a couple of minutes, they all came back. Or rather Obi Wan Cooper and Benjamin and Lily Skywalker came back!

"Oh my God, you guys look amazing!" Amy said, as she saw the three of them dressed with a long white cotton tunic over white pants, with a brown belt and brown boots. In their hair, a longer than natural thin braid that matched their hair color perfectly. Amy had seen each Star Wars movie often enough to know they were dressed as Jedi knights.

"Mommy, I'm the little _pawadan_ and Daddy is the Jedi Master!" Ben said proudly as he started walking towards his mother "Look at my light saber Mommy" He added, showing the red glowing stick that was a small replica of his father's full size light saber.

"It's _padawan_, Benjamin, not _pawadan_." Sheldon corrected, but he could not hide his pride at that moment. In his everyday clothes, Ben already looked a lot like his father but in that costume, it was even more striking. And Lily looked so adorable.

"I am a _padawan_ too, Mommy" Lily added, swimming in a costume a little too big for her, showing her own glowing stick.

"The three of you look amazing." Amy said, taking tons of pictures.

"Make it good enough to go on mugs, mouse pads and a calendar, please Amy. And please tag me on facebook!"

_A/N: I hope you liked that one. I feel bad for poor Amy but c'est la vie! I will try to post the next chapter soon._


	3. The New Hope Initiation

The three series of three knocks on the door followed by her name startled her. "Is it safe to come in here now, or will I be yelled at and asked to stay away once again?" Standing by the kitchen door, Sheldon was waiting for her approval to get inside. He had been observing her silently for a couple of minutes before deciding to join her. She looked so peaceful today; he could still catch glimpses of sadness on her face at times but that was nothing compared to the past weeks.

"No, this time you are safe, you can come in Sheldon." Amy said, smiling. He could not help noticing how much she looked like Lily when she smiled so genuinely. "As you can see, I am simply preparing a few sandwiches for lunch. No mystery about it." Sheldon moved towards the table and was about to sit down when she added "You can help me if you feel like it." He nodded and moved towards the sink to wash his hands. He still had his Jedi costume on - minus the long coat - so he was very careful not to spill water on himself. She went on "Darling, there is the bread over there, could you grab a few more slices and another knife please?" Sheldon obeyed then sat down opposite his wife as she slid the jar of peanut butter and jelly to his side of the table. As he began preparing a sandwich which he knew was either for him or Lily, Amy asked "So tell me, what did you do with the children? I haven't heard or seen them in a while; I was beginning to worry."

"They are reading in Lily's room." he started explaining "On our way back here, Ben and I went to our usual bookstore and I bought them a new book each – Benjamin chose another book about astronomy – on the Hubble telescope - and for Lily, I found a new book from the "Ordinary People change World" collection that you like so much; this one is about Amelia Earhart. And apparently she likes it a lot. We read it together once, and then as I refused to do it again, she managed to convince Benjamin to do it. Don't ask me how; she is just that good." He was smiling.

"To be honest, I am more surprised that she did not manage to convince **you **to read it with her again."

Amy was right, their daughter was his weakness; one smile and he melted. Just like her mother actually. "Well, I wanted to come and check on my other favorite lady." After clearing his throat, he added quickly "In case you needed help with lunch." He did not want her to know he was keeping an eye on her. He did not want her to feel observed.

"Of course. Thank you Sheldon." She lowered her head for a moment then she asked, grinning "Amelia Earhart, right? So let me guess: now, our daughter wants to be an aviator?"

"Of course. You know her."

Amy laughed lightly, her eyes still focused on what she was doing "That's an interesting one. As far as I know, this month, she has already claimed that someday she wanted to be a surgeon, a hairdresser, a piano teacher, Marie Curie and now an aviator. And after watching Star Wars today, she might want to become a Princess/Member of the Senate or a spaceship pilot."

"Or a Jedi." He added with a grin.

"Or a Jedi." She repeated, nodding slowly. Then she lifted her head to look at him "By the way, Sheldon, that was very thoughtful of you to buy a Jedi costume for Lily as well. She worships both you and her older brother; she was on cloud nine to be able to dress like the two of you. And even though she is too young to watch the movies, it is like you have truly included her in the celebration, and that's very sweet of you. Thank you."

"Well it just made sense. When I was there standing in front of the costumes in that aisle, I just knew I had to buy one for my little princess as well." He smiled "And it is not 'like I have included her' in the celebration, she is part of it. The whole family is. Even you, despite your lack of interest in Star Wars." He teased her before adding in a more solemn tone "Thanks for allowing today to happen Amy, it means a lot to me." Amy simply smiled at him, and smiling back he added "By the way, Benjamin wanted to buy a Jedi costume for you too, but I talked him out of it."

"So it's my turn to say thank you." She said, nodding.

Sheldon was used to her attitude towards Science Fiction; he did not mind anymore "You are welcome. Anyway, I have not given up hope, and if one day you were to change your mind about it and I had to choose a Star Wars costume for you, my first pick would so not be a Jedi costume." He almost said the sentence without paying attention; he was now quite focused on slicing the bread.

"Oh, and what would be your first choice then, if I may ask?" She asked in a lower voice. He was not a hundred percent sure about it, but it felt like she was flirting with him. It had been quite a long time since they had such a light conversation, and he had missed it.

"A princess Leia outfit of course, the one she wore when she was Jabbah's slave; it would fit you far better. Your curves especially…" Any other day for the past few weeks, he would have hesitated saying it out loud but her good mood today encouraged him to be bold.

"Oh really Dr Cooper? I would have never guessed that you were into that golden bikini..."

He stared at her, mesmerized by her low seductive voice and her enticing green eyes, delighted to hear her call him 'Dr Cooper' again; she usually only used it in these moments of playful seduction between them. He decided to play along. "Oh I am into it Dr Fowler-Cooper. But only if it is on you."

She grinned then went back to placing some chicken in the sandwich she had been preparing "Well, too bad for you, because like you said, I will never wear a Star Wars costume." Then almost immediately she added with a smirk "But…" She lifted her eyes again to look him straight in the eye.

"Yes…" he stared at her again, hopeful. He could not care less about the sandwich half prepared in front of him; all he could focus on right now was her and how beautiful she was when she smiled.

She went on slowly "But maybe later tonight, after the third movie, I don't know, I could wear one of these Star Wars tee shirts of yours, just for you, in our bedroom, door locked… with nothing else on of course." He could not help gulping at the thought "That could be our own private celebration. After all, I owe you, after keeping you awake so late last night. What would you think about it, Dr Cooper?" She had placed her hand on his own, her fingers playing with his, waiting for his answer.

Sheldon was stunned but delighted. It had been weeks since they had shared an intimate moment as in more than talking, hugging and kissing to comfort her. And he had to admit he had been missing it. A lot. Not so much the sex in itself, more the closeness, the physical and mental connection of their two bodies and souls "That would be nice." He said, his voice cracking a little, betraying his excitement.

"Good". Amy got up and went to a cupboard to retrieve a tray which she then placed on the table. As she sat back, she placed all the sandwiches on the tray along with a few snacks and drinks.

After a moment of silence during which the two of them completed the task at hand, Amy resumed talking, her tone now sounding more serious "Sheldon, about today, there is something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Sure, go on."

"It is not easy, and please don't take it the wrong way; you know I love you."

"Okay…" he said, intrigued now; when his wife felt the need to start a discussion by reminding him that she loved him, it usually meant that what she had to say was difficult for him to hear; some bad news, the explanation of some misunderstanding or a social cue he did not get, or a request that she knew beforehand he was not keen on fulfilling. After so many years together, he knew that bringing up the L word was her delicate yet not so subtle way to broach a sensitive topic.

"Alright, honey. You are always very enthusiastic about everything and I love that about you; that passion is what makes you, well, you."

"So far I have to agree with everything you said; I am a passionate man. Go on."

"That you are." She said, smiling, before adding "Alright, Sheldon, I have to ask you one thing: what exactly do you expect from today?"

"What do I expect? I expect to spend a nice moment with my family like I said earlier."

"Is that everything? I mean for all these years, you spent that particular day with your friends, who all share your enthusiasm about Star Wars. I have to admit that this year, when you said you wanted to spend May 4th with us, I was a bit surprised, but glad of course. Especially for Benjamin. And now I am a bit concerned that you might be expecting too much from today."

"What do you mean expecting too much? I don't understand what you mean Amy." He really was clueless as to what her point was.

"I mean I know that you are really looking forward to sharing your passion for Star Wars with your son. But I'd like you to keep an open mind: Ben is still very young; he is only seven years old. He may be very intelligent and he may know a lot of things for someone his age, but I am afraid that these movies for grownups might be a bit complicated for him. And also, even though he likes lots of the things you do like, there is a possibility he might not like Star Wars. How would you react if he was not as enthusiastic about it all as you are?" Sheldon frowned but before he could reply, she added "Sheldon, darling, I don't want you to be disappointed, but moreover I don't want Ben to think you are disappointed in him; he is such a sensitive little boy."

Sheldon placed the knife on the table, grabbed a towel to wipe his hands then slowly placing the towel back on the table, he finally replied "Amy, I am well aware of what you just said. Yes, Ben is still young and Star Wars is for grownups, but I was his age when I first saw the movies, and I know he is old enough and smart enough to understand its meaning. Additionally I am there to answer all of the questions he might have. And yes, I am quite aware that he might not appreciate the movies as much as I do. And it does not really matter to me. I mean, of course that would be great to be able to share my love for the Star Wars franchise with my son. But in all these years that you and I have been together, I have learnt that you can't expect the ones you love to share all the same interests as you. I mean **you** don't like Star Wars, Star Trek and just any of my Science Fiction favorites and yet you are the love of my life. That's okay. You and I have so many things that we share; if you cannot agree that Star Wars is a true masterpiece, well, what can I do? I won't love you any less because of that. And that is the same with the children. If today it was clear that Benjamin did not like Star Wars, well I would not mind; yes at first I'd be a bit disappointed that this would not be something I can share with him, but there are so many other options; like you just said, I am passionate about many things, and so is Benjamin; we will always find things to do together, things to bond about: astronomy, music, comic books, …" He cleared his throat "Do you really believe that I would be disappointed in him just for that? How could I be so insensitive? I told you about my childhood Amy, how I never fulfilled my father's expectations and how he constantly complained about it. Do you really think I would do the same to my son? Is that what you are afraid of?" Sheldon's tone of voice betrayed the hurt he was beginning to feel at Amy's insinuation.

"No. I know you would not love him less for that, Sheldon; I know you, you are a very loving father to our children." Amy replied with a very calm voice which appeased him instantly "I just wanted to be sure that you knew it could happen. Any reaction from you could be wrongly interpreted by our seven year old unsecure son; I don't want him to **believe** you would love him less if he did not like the movies today, even if you and I know that is not the case. Children in general, and Ben in particular, are very careful about adult's reactions, I would not want him to be hurt for no reason."

He thought about it then asked "What do you want me to do about it then?"

"Just make sure he knows what you just told me and encourage him to tell what he really thinks. Make him understand that your love for him does not depend on today's outcome. And pay attention to his reactions. Then the two of you will be fine." Amy said, holding his hand and caressing it softly.

"Alright, I will be careful; I don't want to hurt his feelings, even by mistake." He replied, squeezing her hand lightly. "Thank you Amy. Thank you for always being there to help me with all social situations. These are not easy for me to deal with, you know that, so thank you for helping me being a better dad."

"You and I are a team Sheldon; I help you read some situations and you help me when I am sad and need comforting." She looked at him and suddenly he was lost in her eyes.

"I meant what I said earlier Amy, what really matters about today is spending the day together, you, me, Benjamin and Lily. Just being together."

Just then, Amy's phone started vibrating. She let go of his hand after caressing it once more, then read the text message she had just received "Oh, brilliant, it's from your mother, she just saw the pictures of the three of you that I just sent and she loved it. Oh and she would like it if you would call her today. She hasn't spoken to either of us or the children for over a week and she says she would love to hear from us."

"Alright, let me take my computer and we will skype her from Lily's room. We have twenty minutes before the marathon starts and the children will be happy to talk to her." Sheldon got up "You coming?" he asked, reaching for her hand.

She grabbed his hand and got up. Then she let it go and moved to the sink "Give me a minute to clean this table and bring the tray to the living room. I'll meet you there when I'm done here." Sheldon stood there for a second then before leaving the room, moved back towards his wife and kissed her forehead, without saying a word but knowing that the message he wanted to convey through that kiss had been understood.

* * *

"Come on Benny, one more time, please!" His little sister was sitting on her bed, with him on the chair next to her. They were both holding one end of the book their father had just given her.

"Really Lily, again? Daddy read it with you once, and then I read it once more, isn't it enough for now?" He said, shutting the book and placing it on the bedside table.

"No. I love this story. I think it is my new favorite book. And the pictures are beautiful. I so want to fly someday! I think I would love planes!" Lily said dreamily.

Benny looked at her, frowning "You already flew silly!"

"I did?" The little girl asked, surprised.

"Yes, when you were a little over one, we all flew to Texas to spend Christmas with Grandma Mary, Aunt Missy, Uncle Shawn, the cousins, Uncle George and Aunt Tracy. You were sitting next to GrandMa Rose on both flights, in Mommy's arms. You cried a little at takeoffs and then again at landings. I was sitting next to Daddy by the window. We watched movies together both times. Toy Story 1, 2 and 3."

The little girl sighed "Wow, I wish I could remember everything, just like you. I want an eitic memory too, it is not fair!"

"Eidetic. Well it is nice, sometimes. Especially because it is something that Daddy and I have in common. And it is helpful at school. But at other times, it is difficult." The little boy meant it; even at seven, he was able to understand that it was both a gift and a curse.

"How is that? I can only see it as a good thing: you will never forget the happy moments!"

Ben smiled. Lily was always seeing the positive aspects of things first. He wished he would be like her, have that innocence "Well, it is both good and bad because you remember everything all the time, not only the good things, but also the bad things. You cannot choose. You for instance are free to forget a bad memory. I am not."

Lily thought for a minute "Yes. But at least you don't forget the good ones. I don't want to forget the good things." She added softly "Sometimes I don't remember GrandMa Rose's voice, no matter how hard I try. And it makes me sad."

Benny looked at his little sister for a moment; she really looked sad. And Lily never looked sad; that was highly disturbing. Lily was his baby sister; she was not allowed to be sad, he had to do something about it. "Wait a minute Lily." Ben got up and got out of the room. He came back a couple of minutes later with both a video camera and a scarf in his hands "Come here" he said as he sat up on his little sister's bed. She moved closer to him, placing her little hand on his thigh for balance. He hit play on the video device and onscreen appeared their grandmother Rose. It was a video of last Christmas; Lily was on her grandmother's lap, opening her presents. Grandma Rose was asking her to explain what presents she had juts received from Santa and she was laughing with her. Lily was mesmerized by the images played in front of her eyes. When the video was over, Lily sat up straight and wiped the tears that had just formed at the corner of her eyes with her tiny fists.

"I have many videos with Grandma on it, Lily, so whenever you feel you are forgetting something, just ask me and I'll show you one. But you have to promise that this will be our secret." Lily shook her head yes. "And this is also for you to remember her better." He said handing her the scarf.

"What is this?"

"Smell it."

"Oh" she said, realizing what it was. "It smells like Grandma. Is this her scarf?" She asked, inspecting it.

"Yes, she gave it to me a few months ago when I was cold, at the park. I never had the opportunity to give it back to her before…. Well, before. Anyways, I don't need it to remember her; at first I thought I would give it to Mommy, but I was scared it would make her even sadder. So I kept it. And I will keep it for you now. So you don't have to worry about forgetting her; olfactory memories are the strongest, they help stimulate all other memories contained in our brains; so when you smell this, you are more likely to remember Grandma and all the good memories we have with her. I will keep it in my drawer with the video camera, so when you need it, you either ask or you can go and smell it; I don't mind if you go in my bedroom without asking if it is for that." He said smiling lightly.

"Thank you Benny." The little girl kissed her big brother on the cheek then hugged him tightly. He wanted to get away from it, he was not comfortable at all, but it felt like his baby sister needed it, so he let her do. She pulled away and whispered "I miss her a lot."

"So do I. But it is more difficult for Mommy. Lily, when you feel sad about Grandma Rose, tell me. Don't tell Mommy, she will be even sadder and I don't like it when she is sad."

"I don't like it either." The little girl almost whispered. Then she added more enthusiastically "But she smiled a lot today when we prepared the surprise. I loved it; she is beautiful when she smiles."

"She is." Ben added.

Then another voice came from behind the door "Yes she is." They both looked up and saw their father walking towards them. He sat on the bed, placing his laptop next to him, sighed then placed one hand on both children's cheeks, caressing it softly "Don't worry kittens, she is getting better. We will see more and more smiles with each day that passes."

"Daddy!" the little girl said, smiling widely despite her tearful eyes. Her father opened his arms to hug her. "Baby, are you alright?"

"Yes Daddy, I'm fine now." The little girl replied, holding him tighter, then letting go.

"Benjamin, you?"

"Yes Daddy. I am fine. We are both fine." Benjamin said, hiding both the video camera and the scarf behind his back. He did not know how much of the conversation his father had overheard, but preferred to play it safe concerning Lily's sorrow; he was the big brother, he was the one that had to protect her, and comfort her; Daddy already had to take care of Mommy, Lily was Ben's responsibility.

* * *

Sheldon had been standing behind that door for quite a while actually, and he had heard enough about the video and the scarf, about how Ben comforted and protected his sister and how both children had been aware of Amy's grief. It pained him, but he knew his children were smart and bond to understand that something had been going on with their mother. At least they had each other if they chose not to confide in their parents. He looked at both his children with pride, then he kissed his daughter's forehead and opening the laptop said "What about calling Texas to say hello to Grandma Mary before the marathon starts?"

* * *

"Alright, the Coopers, just a quick family meeting before the marathon starts in exactly two minutes. Here is the detailed schedule of the day." Sheldon was standing in the living room next to his whiteboard, dressed in his Jedi costume. Sat quietly on the couch were an amused Amy, and the very focused Padawans Lily and Ben, who were drinking in their father's words. "The marathon starts at exactly 12pm. The first movie we will watch today is called Episode IV: A new hope. The movie lasts exactly 2 hours and 1 minute. When it is over, we will have a 59 minutes break that can be used as bathroom time, nap time or discussion time, whatever you choose. Then at 3pm, Episode V will start. In order not to spoil the content of the movie, I refuse to reveal the title of the episode for now. The duration of the movie is 2 hours and 4 minutes exactly. Then will follow a 56 minutes break that Mommy wants to use for a surprise which I know nothing about - but I am pretty sure someone else in this room knows what it is about." He looked directly at Lily who was squirming lightly on her seat. "At 6pm will begin Episode VI, the last movie of the day, which will finish at exactly 8.14pm, just in time for dinner. Any questions regarding the schedule?" Both children shook their heads and Amy said nothing at all, so he went on "If one of us needs a break in the middle of one of the movies, it should not exceed five minutes, and the duration would be deducted from the time allotted for the following break. The seating will be as follows: I will of course sit on my spot, with Benjamin next to me, with Mommy by his side. Lily will be allowed to sit wherever she wants, including on my or Mommy's lap." The little girl sat closer to Amy at that moment and placed her head on her mother's lap. "In front of you, on the table, lays a tray with all the food we need for at least the first movie: 3 small sandwiches for each of us – by the way, Mommy made sure to make everyone's favorites, so I think she deserves a thank you from everyone" Lily got on her knees to kiss her mother, mimicked by Ben a few seconds later. Sheldon just smiled at her and she smiled back. "We also have two bottles of either still or sparkling water each and a few snacks including oreos and apples. The napkins are over here. Still no questions?" He waited for a second but as everyone was shaking their heads no "Good. Just one more thing before we begin" He looked directly at Amy, nodding at her, before going on "As you all know, Star Wars is my favorite franchise. Every year, I celebrate Star Wars day on May 4th with your uncles. But this year, I am happy to celebrate it with you all. Very happy. And what makes today very special for me is that it will be the whole family doing something together. I have seen the movies many times, so it is not what is the most important today. I want you to know that at any moment during the viewing, if you don't like it, if you are tired, if you are scared of the battles, please let me know and we will stop and do something else. We also have a Lego Death Star to build; it would also be a great way to celebrate Star Wars day, and one that we can all enjoy. So please, I want everyone to be honest about it and tell me how they feel. No lies between us, we always tell the truth to each other." Amy looked at both her children at that moment. Lily was still hanging on her father's every word, her face still on her lap. Ben on the other side of the couch was very quiet; he was listening to his father carefully but Amy could read on his face that Sheldon's words had the expected effect on her son; he began biting his lower lip at Sheldon's first words but then slowly the smile came back on his face as the words sank in. The mention to the Lego Death Star and the chuckle that followed was what convinced Amy that things were fine now; Ben was aware there was no pressure on him, they would be fine.

Sheldon concluded "Alright everyone, so are we ready for the first Cooper family Star Wars day to begin?"

"Yes!" both Lily and Ben yelled in unison. Amy simply nodded, grinning.

"Okay." Sheldon placed the DVD in the player then moved to sit on his spot. Lily got up at that moment and moved to sit on her father's lap. Sheldon grabbed her and let her lean against his chest.

"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…." As Sheldon started reading the words that appeared on screen, and as the children were focused on what was played before their eyes, Amy could not help feeling bored already; she had seen that movie nineteen times in the past fourteen years, and still did not understand what was so great about it. And yet, she was ready to watch it a twentieth time for her family; they were all that mattered for her, and the real interesting show before her eyes.

Ben was focused on the movie for the whole time, apparently fascinated. A couple of times, he got scared by what he saw (the destruction of Alderaan by the Empire and the scene in the garbage masher) and squeezed his mother's arm. But the rest of the time, he was quiet and engulfed in the movie. Amy was glad; Ben was obviously enjoying his father's favorite movie franchise and she knew it was a very good thing for the two of them. By the end of Episode IV, Ben was sitting very close to his father, their shoulders almost touching, totally relaxed.

With Lily, it was a different matter. She spent the whole first half of the movie talking and asking questions to Sheldon, about the robots, Leia, the moons in the sky of Tatooine… And surprisingly, he never shushed her or replied callously; on the contrary, he whispered the answers to all of her questions to her ear very patiently. Amy also realized that during the scenes that were difficult to explain to a 4 and a half year old, Sheldon managed to distract Lily's attention so she did not pay too much attention to the screen; he was so thoughtful with his children and Amy loved that more than anything about Daddy Sheldon.

But Lily was still very young for such a long movie, and after around an hour, when the air battles started being more intense, her attention span came to its limits; she then asked for a bathroom break, and as she came back, went to sit on her mother's lap and slowly slipped into slumber. When the first movie was over, Amy took her daughter to her own bedroom where she put her in bed, and lay down next to her, leaving the boys to their discussion about destroyed planets and galactic battles.

Amy looked at her little girl sleeping with tenderness; she did that quite often, it appeased her. It had always had the ability to appease her from the moment she had first laid eyes on her, in that incubator over four years ago.

If Benjamin's conception had been an accident – a happy accident in the end – they had been trying to conceive a second child for a very long time; and they had almost lost hope and were resigned to remain just the three of them when their little miracle baby finally showed up. But from the beginning, this late pregnancy had been nothing like when Amy had expected her first born three years before; this time, she had suffered from pregnancy sickness far more than for Benjamin, and had to take a leave of absence very early on due to terrible back pains. Then Meemaw died when Amy was six months pregnant and the stress obviously did not help; and then one rainy day of October, almost two months before her due date, she went into labor. Everything went fast, and before they knew it, the baby was born, weighing only four and a half pounds for sixteen inches, with very heavy breathing disorders and all the other problems linked to premature birth.

After a couple of days of angst and exhaustion, the prognosis was getting better and both Amy and Sheldon were finally allowed to visit their baby girl, Lily Rose Cooper. If events had been hard on Amy, from the moment she had been allowed to hold her baby in her arms, everything was forgotten and she knew that little girl would have a very special spot in her heart.

However, for Sheldon, things had been more complicated, and he had remained distant from the newborn for quite some time. Amy did not understand what was going on; was he still sad because of Meemaw's death? Had the emergency delivery been too hard to go through for him? All she knew was that now there was a ditch between her husband and her daughter and she did not know how to deal with it. He was still very tender with her, and very attentive to Ben's needs, but when it came to Lily, Amy could feel him tense and withdraw.

Until one night, a few weeks after Lily got home; Amy woke up at night to feed the baby and as she walked into Lily's bedroom, she saw Sheldon finally holding their daughter for the first time, giving her a bottle of expressed milk, while talking softly to her, her tiny hand in his. He was apologizing to the baby, telling her that he loved her but was just too afraid to lose her; he promised he would no longer let his fears control him and that from now on he would be the best father she could have wished for. Through his words and by the way he was holding her, Amy had known instantly that the difficult times were over and that their family could move on and be happy at last. She slowly went back to bed and never mentioned to Sheldon what she had witnessed. But from that moment on, Lily became her Daddy's little girl and there was never any doubt that he loved her and would protect her forever.

And now, on this Saturday afternoon, in her bedroom, Amy took one more look at her daughter before falling asleep as well, spooning her and relishing in the smell of her miracle baby, their little princess. She still had thirty minutes before the next movie anyways.

A/N: Sorry for the delay, but I was on holidays these past three weeks with no opportunity to write. I am back now and will try to post the next two chapters sooner.


End file.
